Yesterday I wrote that the four theological pillars of the biblical story not only keeps men from the dual errors our culture presents them to (shame and the “barbarian” lifestyle), it actually compels men towards an inspiring vision: the good man.
In her book The Toxic War on Masculinity, Nancy Pearcey references sociologist Michael Kimmel who went around the world asking men, “At a funeral, when someone delivers a eulogy and describes the deceased as a ‘good man,’ what do they mean?
I asked this question to those gathered in our church this past Sunday, and their responses were almost in 100% alignment with Kimmel’s survey:
A good man is defined by:
Honor, duty, integrity, sacrifice, do the right thing, stand up for the little guy, be a provider, be a protector. Be responsible, be generous to others.
I find it fascinating that men know in their bones this is what they were created to become. It’s in our spiritual DNA.
But secular society has lost its ability to reinforce this vision and cultivate good men. The competing voices within modern secularism are only offering the two limiting distortions: scolding and shaming men into emasculation, or inviting them into a life of self-centred, childish hedonism (i.e. Peter Pan syndrome).
So if we can’t look to society for guidance on how to become a good man, where should we look?
God’s Word. The Bible.
2 Ti 3:15–17
16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
When we look to the Bible to understand masculinity and manhood, what do we find?
While that’s a big topic, one way to frame the biblical vision for life-giving masculinity is to invoke the metaphor of a KNIGHT. A knight was a devoted, holy warrior, compelled by a divine calling, who vowed to protect others and serve their God and King.
In broad themes and specific commands, these emphases come through again and again in the pages of the New Testament.
1 Timothy 6:11-12
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14
13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage [lit. “act like men”]; be strong. 14 Do everything in love.
Notice the dynamism that exists here: the pursuit of strength and gentleness, faith and courage, resolve and love. Where else can you find these values so powerfully articulated and championed together?
A good man battles against “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 Jn 2:16).
A healthy, godly masculinity is strength and power used to bless and serve others
The knight sees authority not as a means to get what one wants, but a duty to take responsibility for the flourishing of others.
Healthy, godly masculinity is expressed as a servant leader.
Matthew 20:25-28
25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Healthy, godly masculinity is focused on growing strong in mind, body, and spirit, for the sake of one’s relationships, marriages, family, and communities.
Closing thoughts in my next post.