"Rejoice in the Lord Always": Toxic Positivity or Authentic Spirituality?

While it's easy to respond to this command with superficial positivity, it actually invites us to embrace the full range of human emotions.

The command to "rejoice in the Lord always" (Philippians 4:4) can often feel like a heavy burden when we're experiencing the full range of human emotions—sadness, anger, fear, anxiety. But it's crucial to understand that rejoicing in the Lord doesn't mean we're expected to maintain a superficial sense of happiness or positivity at all times. Scripture continually affirms that life will include difficult emotions and seasons of suffering.

For example, the Psalms are filled with cries of lament and expressions of deep anguish. David, a man after God’s own heart, frequently pours out his sorrow and frustration before God, as in Psalm 13:1-2, where he asks, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" This shows us that expressing sadness, fear, or frustration does not contradict our call to rejoice in the Lord. Rather, these emotions are part of the human experience that God understands and even invites us to bring before Him.

To rejoice in the Lord is more about where we anchor our hope and trust, even when our emotions are turbulent. It's about finding our ultimate joy and security in God's unchanging goodness and faithfulness, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. But this joy coexists with the full range of human emotions. Jesus Himself wept at the death of Lazarus (John 11:35), felt anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:44), and experienced righteous anger at the money changers in the temple (John 2:15). These moments show us that the Son of God, fully human, experienced and expressed emotions that were anything but "positive."

Unfortunately, some interpret the call to "rejoice always" as a mandate for constant happiness, which can justify a kind of "toxic positivity"—the denial or dismissal of painful emotions. This mindset, while well-meaning, is spiritually unhealthy. It interferes with our ability to turn to God authentically and vulnerably. When we ignore or suppress our internal realities in an effort to maintain a facade of happiness, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to bring our whole selves to God. This stunts our experience of God’s grace and care as we become more focused on keeping up appearances than on real transformation and healing.

I can relate to this tension personally. As an Enneagram 3, I have a natural tendency to focus on success and positivity, often avoiding strong, "negative" emotions like sadness or fear. The drive to maintain a positive image can cause me to read verses like Philippians 4:4 as “focus on the positive and ignore the negative.” This can lead to a kind of toxic positivity rooted in a denial of reality—one that I’ve had to confront and learn to work through. Focusing on the positive and disciplines of gratitude are extremely important. But ignoring and avoiding “negative” emotions doesn’t make them disappear; it only pushes them deeper and distances us from genuine connection with God. If we believe we must live in a state of perpetual joy, we will begin to live a lie, and that lie will metasticize into disconnection from God, ourselves, and others.

Being sad, anxious, or angry doesn't make you a negative person—it makes you a fully human image-bearer of God. It is normal and good to experience these emotions because those experiences reflect the reality of life in a broken world. The emotions aren’t the issue, but how we engage with them. Do we bring them before God in prayer and lament? Do we trust Him with our pain and confusion? Biblical joy is not the absence of hardship, but a deep-rooted confidence in God's presence and His promises. So, we can both grieve and rejoice, struggle and trust. The two are not mutually exclusive but are part of a life lived in faith.

In short, God does not call us to deny our humanity or suppress our emotions. Instead, He invites us to bring our whole selves to Him—our joys and sorrows, our strengths and weaknesses—so that we might experience the profound peace and joy of knowing Him, even when life is painful, confusing, and hard.